Oh, Alright. Arrr.

I give up. Everyone else is doing it; may as well acknowledge today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Ninme links to an ergonomic keyboard for pirates. And the only person I've known to actually use pirate phrases in everyday conversation (see this old post) sent me this translator of English into Pirate. I tried the preamble to the Constitution, and it didn't fare too badly.
We th' swabbies, in order t' form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide fer th' common defense, promote th' general welfare an' secure th' blessings o' liberty t' ourselves an' our posterity do ordain an'establish this Constitution fer th' United States o' America. Ya horn swogglin' bilge rat!

The magic seems to be in the closing insult. Here's the famed phrase from typing class.
Th' quick brown fox jumps o'er th' lazy dog.Ya scurvy dog who ortin' t' be keelhauled!

What the president thinks of affirmative action:
Th' soft bigotry o' low expectationsYa lily livered bilge rat!

Condi Rice against all comers:
I`ve been black all me life. I dasn't need anyone t' tell me how t' be black.Ya scallywag whut deserves the black spot!

You get the idea. Arr! G'night, me Hardies.