Best. Immigration Solution. Ever.

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Anybody at all can come here, but for assimilation purposes, each must spend a year in Gitmo first. Here's what some released detainees had to say when tracked down in their current homes in Afghanistan:

“I am lucky I went there, and now I miss it. Cuba was great,” said the 14-year-old, knotting his brow in the effort to make sure he is understood.

He's only sorry he didn't get to spend as much time at the beach as he would have liked.
He spent a typical day watching movies, going to class and playing football. He was fascinated to learn about the solar system, and now enjoys reciting the names of the planets, starting with Earth. Less diverting were the twice-monthly interrogations about his knowledge of al-Qaida and the Taliban. But, as Asadullah’s answer was always the same - “I don’t know anything about these people” - these sessions were merely a bore: an inevitably tedious consequence, Asadullah suggests with a shrug, of being held captive in Guantanamo Bay.


One of his confreres agrees:
The food in the camp was delicious, the teaching was excellent, and his warders were kind. “Americans are good people, they were always friendly, I don’t have anything against them,” he said. “If my father didn’t need me, I would want to live in America.”

First boy again:
“Americans are great people, better than anyone else,” he said, when found at his elder brother’s tiny fruit and nut shop in a muddy backstreet of Kabul. “Americans are polite and friendly when you speak to them. They are not rude like Afghans. If I could be anywhere, I would be in America. I would like to be a doctor, an engineer — or an American soldier.”

Now that's assimilation, Baby. Hey, can we send the ACLU, Michael Moore, Cynthia McKinney and the Democratic Leadership to Gitmo? Curtsy to lgf.