I Wasn't Beating My Girlfriend, Your Honor

I was helping her procure an abortion. From the Salt Lake Tribune:
A judge has released a 17-year-old Vernal girl from jail after ruling she did not commit a crime when she allegedly paid a man to beat her in an attempt to end her late-term pregnancy.
"Women may use any procedure or method of terminating pregnancy, by abortion or by miscarriage, and they cannot be charged with a crime," King said.

That'll set us back about 1000 years. But who the hell cares? It's only women.

Curtsy: CMR