The Better To See You With, My Dear

So I'm sitting at my gate at BWI, having just come through airport security. Amazingly, and a first in my experience at BWI post 9/11, the line to go through did not snake for an hour around the airport and I breezed right through.

I was "randomly selected" to pass through the nekkid scanner. A man ran the scan --there was no female officer available-- and the other option was a full body pat down.

Actual conversation with TSA guy:

Me: (in my registering a protest voice) So, my choices are to be seen naked or felt up?
He: (shrugging and pointing to the sample pictures posted) Well...(indicating by his shrug that he considered it nothing)... (beat)... Now, would I like to see you naked?
Me: Withering stare.
He: I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything.

Feeling a fleeting attraction for a burqaa and a male chaperone just at present, and disaffection for Uncle Sam.