As it's "Lighten Up" Sunday, we must have a joke, and hence the Misfortune Cookie.

Ms. Notsohumble writes:
I have always wanted to do a dark humored twist on the standard fortune cookie. I had long assumed that fortune cookies were a pain to make, so I had been putting them off for months. Finally, I made them and learned that yes, I was correct in my assumption. They are an absolute chore to bake.
I can affirm the truth of that, as one Christmas Eve my brother and I stayed up all night trying to create fortune cookies for a Christmas brunch gag. We didn't even start until after midnight because certain guests who shall remain nameless <cough sister and brother-in-law cough>would not leave. (Which was weird because they are usually early-to-bed types.) Then batch after batch of the dang things didn't come out right. (We were googling different recipes-- what do we know from fortune cookies?)

We were so exhausted by the time 4 am came around that the actual jokes were the product of punchiness rather than humor or judgment, so I'm not sure it was our most effective Christmas pranking ever. But I do remember howling with laughter with my brother over utterly unfunny items in the wee small hours -- so we enjoyed ourselves, even if no one else did.

I can at least pass along some advice if you like the idea of misfortunes. Zap store-bought fortune cookies for a few secs in the microwave and they'll be soft enough for you to slip the fortune out and substitute anything you wish before gently re-sealing.