Much Ado About The TSA Or: Janet Napolidogberry

Having laughed our way through Macbeth, we're now reading Much Ado. And lo, here in Act 3 we found the new TSA patdown/nekkid scan rules:

DOGBERRY

...This is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are
to bid any man stand, in the prince's name.

Second Watchman

How if a' will not stand?

DOGBERRY

Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and
presently call the rest of the watch together and
thank God you are rid of a knave.

VERGES

If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none
of the prince's subjects.

DOGBERRY True, and they are to meddle with none but the
prince's subjects....