I believe in an exorbitant minimum wage to help all the unemployed people!

I also believe everyone has the right to be heard. Except smokers. And rich guys. And anyone who doesn't approve of my casual sexual exploits. And black Conservatives, those dirty *#!?S. And mean people. And people who drive cars and don't eat organic.

I hate big companies! I say, as I tweet from iPhone while taking notes on my iPad from Starbucks where I took a bathroom break!

And I hate all the banks! Down with investment and a modern economy! We should all barter for what we want as we did in purer times! 

Oh, wait a minute, this just in....someone's doing this schtick better than I.