Merry Christmas, You Disgusting Tub O' Lard

"Health experts" tell the Beeb that Christmas
is an opportunity that should not be missed.
An opportunity for what, you ask? To tell your loved ones they are fat.
Prof David Haslam, chair of the National Obesity Forum, said: "Suggesting to someone that they should consider losing a few pounds may not be a comfortable conversation to have.
"But if someone close to you has a large waistline then as long as you do it sensitively, discussing it with them now could help them avoid critical health risks later down the line and could even save their life."
Never let a good Christ-mas go to waist?