Entrance Exam

It's exam week for the teenagers and we have a new word game around here: Essay Question.  The object is to create an absurd yet plausible compare and contrast prompt for an imaginary English or AP exam. Here, chosen from among many excellent entries, via one of Eldest Weed's friends, is my favorite:
In 'Green Eggs and Ham,' Dr. Seuss vibrantly displays the eternal struggle between a person's skepticism of that which lies beyond him and his skepticism of that skepticism. Søren Kierkegaard also discusses skepticism in 'Fear and Trembling,' arguing that that which lies beyond the person must be accepted through a 'Movement of Infinity.' In a clear and well-organized essay, compare and contrast Kierkegaard's and Seuss's perceptions of skepticism and the influence these perceptions have on their respective ultimate worldviews. Then, using a new quantum hermeneutical approach to the concept of Being as applied to these worldviews, psychologically analyze Kierkegaard and Seuss, giving an ultimate diagnosis, such as: depressed; schizophrenic; paranoid; paranoid-schizophrenic; hetero/homosexual (depending on your status as a bigot); or any other psychological disorder you wish to mention.

This young man is ready for college, no?